Phenomenal Woman

Its been four years since I last posted and I’m honestly so ashamed to even say it! I truly loved my blog and the freedom I felt expressing myself on my own personal platform. It seemed like my blog was just about my personal style, and recipes but in all honesty, it was an outlet for me while I was battling my own personal depression. Having invested time in my blog took my mind off the things and thoughts that would consume me. I never battled postpartum depression, but it got so bad I thought that’s what I was experiencing. Fortunately, it was not, and my heart and thoughts go out to all the super strong mommies who battle and conquer it! 

My blog created a voice within myself that I was suppressing for so long, a voice I wasn’t quite mature enough to accept. With a platform comes a responsibility to be authentic, forthcoming, and relatable. At the time I didn’t feel I possessed any of those qualities because I was allowing outside influences to cloud my judgment of myself. Sometimes were our own worst critics, however, sometimes we allow people in our lives who drain us of our energy to better ourselves for trying to help better them. When I realized I was the mother of only two beautiful babies, not the world. I started to live a lot freer, a lot more light, and a lot more out of peoples way who didn’t serve my higher good. 

I love my kids with everything in me, never do I feel weighed down being their mother, but I am human and at times I found myself losing myself trying to be the best mom for them. It took me a long time to find the balance in being a loving attentive mother, and still also taking time out for myself and my needs. Mothers tend to feel guilty for doing things for themselves, but if we don’t then who will? I beat myself up when I leave them, I feel selfish for doing things on my own and although I know they would want me to be happy I still would feel guilty, finding myself hitting road blocks and mental blocks because we simply have to take the time out as mothers, to recharge. We owe it to ourselves and our families.

Moving beyond the rough patches, I feel so much stronger today! Mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially … I am in my bag sis!! And it’s all because I learned how to level up and get out of my own way! I don’t respond to naysayers, negative Nancies, or bitter Bobs! My good sis Thai Kiyoko made a post on Facebook yesterday that said “I create my own reality. Life can be whatever I want it to be.” And she is so right! I’m no longer in the business of letting anyone or anything shift my crown! I vow to only share my power with those who are deserving.

This chapter of my life is dedicated solely to molding myself into one of those phenomenal women we read about in our history books. I want to focus on creating a legacy for my children to be proud of, and it all starts with taking care of myself first! Baby steps until I’m running God speed!

Love you guys,

Xxoxoxoox